♥ K a r i n a ♥ Monday, November 03, 2008
It scares me a lot that there are so much of expectations on me. I feel like I'm being tied to a lot of things that I don't have enough of attention to give. I feel so emotionally drained and tired because I have to meet these expectations all the time. Things kept going wrong and every time I try salvaging them, it gets worst. I am guilt ridden all the time. I kept questioning what have I done wrong? I am only me, I love things being simple. When there is so many things going on around me that I can't handle at once, it feels so tiring. There is just simply too many responsibilities for me to take from every aspects of my life. I really need time to slow down a little and have somebody out there who is willing to accompany and share what I'm going through but not give me more responsibilities to handle. I really don't think that is going to happen. Everybody expect something in return for everything they give out. It's just a wishful though of mine hoping something like that would occur.
I mean I do love listening and staying close to the people around me, I guess when it gets too close, the expectations builds up. I really don't know how am I to set boundaries in between.
I really need some space and have some freedom in making some decisions. I want to be confident in making those decisions. I don't like being pressured and being told that I should do this or do that. I know it meant well, but I can't be what everybody wants me to be. I am me.
Pardon me for the incredibly emotional post.
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