♥ K a r i n a ♥ Sunday, March 28, 2010
Every now and then, train rides feels like it's taken directly off the scenes from "collide" (Dramatic like nobody's business -_- heh). I enjoy train rides. It allows me to ponder upon things be it good or bad. I just came from from the Clayton clan's house. It really got me thinking how lucky I have been. People from all walks of life have been showering me with their concerns and sweet words (now that includes those unexpected ones). I fell hard on the ground? so what? I'm just one out of the world's population. There are worst situations that people are going through.
so *coughs (: I'm starting off with a smile.
Jason and Alva are the best people you can ever be friends with. They are sincere. loves.
I'm sorry for the long hiatus and picture updates. There will be pictures very soon since Chun Yik's birthday karaoke session and the Easter party are the events I will be attending next week.
Have a great week ahead!
Ps: I'll blow you a kiss if any of you could sing me Collide right now (:
haha super retarded picture but yeah I'm smiling :D
♥ K a r i n a ♥ Thursday, March 25, 2010
Come to think of it, It's very silly of me to be showing any forms of sympathy towards anyone at all at this point of time. Who should be blamed when things goes wrong? I was the one being blamed even at the start of the whole series of drama. If it wasn't for the people around me, I would have still been blaming myself. At the end of the day, my fault? when everything were just excuses?? so you could get out of the whole thing without sharing the responsibilities huh?
And It's never been part of my personal principles to blame any third party involved. However, this time round it's different. People are just afraid of how others would judge them instead of looking at their actions instead. Being nice? telling people how much your afraid that I might do this, I might do that, I might feel that way etc... Why didin't anyone thought of me in the first place since everyone is so afraid of how I would feel? Why still do what your doing? Why tell everyone that you feel bad when your already doing it?
People are constantly finding a reason just to cover up their tracks or mistakes that they have done so they would feel better.
I have never not like a person in my whole life. This whole incident is pushing me to the limit and I'm telling you it feels horrible. I'm angry but I'm not showing anything and I'm not doing anything. Thankfully your doing this to someone who doesn't have the habit of fighting back. If not, it would have been ugly.
I admit that I'm not your usual social butterfly who has a lot of friends. That doesn't make me anyhow a bad or an arrogant person.
At least I'm me no matter how quiet or shy I am. I stick to what I believe in. If your taking advantage of what I am, that's just the way you are. Your true colors.
I don't care if I'm being misunderstood because I'm true to myself and I always believe that people will someday see this.
♥ K a r i n a ♥ Monday, March 22, 2010
The deleting starts today..
♥ K a r i n a ♥
Its 22nd of March. Exactly a year ago was the first time the both of us met.
It has been a rough two years for me and all I did was put up a strong front. I endured every single painful episodes I had with the both of you. Yes not just one but the both of you. Ask yourself if you were to go through the same thing over and over again, would you still be happy?
Promises made? I'd say that they are all lies.
You know when people talk about how boys means nothing but trouble? It's true.
You know what? I'm tempted to delete the contacts on facebook/twitter and all the blog posts because there's no point in keeping them and I am supposed to love and protect myself. Since people are getting completely heartless (not that I was affected but recently, there's been too much out there for me to handle. Twitter posts etc....)
I've changed so much. You people made me what I am now. Give me back "me" because shes the once so cheerful person. I am not a bad person. I'm really not. I cared too much. Way too much about how people think, how people feel (not what I'm feeling)..
Please be kind enough to care for what I feel. I'm not asking for much and I never once did. Super Karina is not so super afterall. I fell hard on the ground this time round. Have some heart and stop hurting me. I understand if you have gone all lengths to avoid talking to me and I never would forced you. If you gain pleasure through all that, I salute you because your one heartless person.
Everything I do now doesn't make sense. It's just confuse Karina making rash decisions and mistakes.
Give me my long deserving break.
♥ K a r i n a ♥ Saturday, March 20, 2010
haha I'm surprised that there are still people reading this half abandoned blog and actually remembers my posts.
Anyway, I figured that I should stop my emotional posts because I don't see the reason for posting them out.
My friends have been great to me. Love em hehe :P.
Me, Jason, Ben and Ernest ended up having this random movie outing after lunch because everyone didin't have much to do. Well, I did have fun and the chicken noodles from the Indonesian shop at Caufield is freaking awesome that I could have that every single day. Hmm. Okay. I probably exaggerated a little but yeah. You get the picture.
Seven at night was chaotic, crazy but fun nonetheless. It's been a long time since me and Lava get to really dance to the tunes. My oh my. The boys were shaking their booties as well. It would have been better if both Ching Yee and Tina could join us. I don't exactly like the system of how Se7en manages their lines and entrance. ugh There were plenty of times a lot of us waited for crappy long hours and didin't get to even go in the club. I'm sorry girls. I'll make it up to you guys soon. Perhaps K next week or a movieee??
It really sucks bad that I'm supposed to be joining the boys for paintball today but I'm sort of broke thanks to shopping at Perth and Chadstone.. Man I should stop myself from unintentional spendings. *coughs. Well, it's something like the scenes you see at "Confession of the Shopaholic" where you have items on display calling out for you asking you to buy em. -_-
I'm getting a little paranoid. Recently both Lava and my sister dreamt about things happening to me. The details of both dreams were similar. Imma avoid going out so often at night because it's just super freaky.
Photos!! Have a great weekend ahead (:
Hot hot lava lamp :P
Ben, Adrian, Shim Bei, Ernest.
Mandi -_-
Our mini peach vodka session at home after Tenren instead of joining Wilson and gang at their place hehe.
♥ K a r i n a ♥ Sunday, March 14, 2010
A month ago, I happilly browse through the card section knowing the valentines day was around the corner.
A month after, White valentines don't mean a thing anymore.
♥ K a r i n a ♥
I would have fought harder for everything if there was still love. I'm just protecting myself knowing that once these feelings are gone, it is never easy to get them back so I gave up even when it felt so painful because there's still love for me.
Even when there's a new guy that comes along, it still feels weird and I really dont want to hurt anyone.
The most important thing to do now is to solve something that is much bigger and it has been haunting me for the longest time ever. It shouldn't even be there in the first place. All the sad episodes started from there and it's time to end things if not everything wouldnt change even if there's anything new that comes up. It's such a twisted story and I'm not even sure myself how did I get myself involved with this. I felt so manipulated, felt like I've been taken for a ride for far too long, felt so silly for not doing anything about it, felt horrible because I've kept this from everyone for such a long time.
It's tiring to know that the same old thing is going to happen and it's will hurt me further.
Isn't love supposed to be something pure and simple?
It's been such a long time. I'm talking about years. Please give me some space. Let me go.
I'm tired of playing games. I'm tired of hurting people.
I am only me, Karina.
♥ K a r i n a ♥ Tuesday, March 09, 2010
As long as your happy.. Do whatever you want
♥ K a r i n a ♥ Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Can I continue closing my eyes?
♥ K a r i n a ♥ Monday, March 01, 2010
Close your eyes, rest and everything will be alright tomorrow....
