♥ K a r i n a ♥ Saturday, June 19, 2010
You know it when you realised that your not "yourself" anymore. It could be because your changing yourself for someone you really like , your parents, and your friends.
For instance: You try millions of ways just to impress a guy/girl that you really like (the way you dress, you talk, you act. You talk like you know every single thing in the world (Oh he/she is a super good looking, intelligent and wealthy person. You have to be like them to be at their league). You basically do every single thing!
Or you have those "your parents ask you to be this, do this or that" and you just follow because you possibly feel that they have every single answers to everything.
It's the insecurities causing all of these to occur. Your just not confident of what you have inside.
Unfortunately, I have to admit that I'm one of them. I am somesort very conscious of every single thing that surrounds me. Therefore, I tend to do everything to conceal my flaws. I guess it's just caused by several past experiences. Hey I'm not trying to make my life sounds so sad nor I'm saying that I have the saddest life in the world. I'm just saying that well, there's no such thing as a "perfect" life. A lot of people usually conceal these imperfections to make things look better.
I am conscious of the way I wear, the way I talk, the way I act. Yes I'm exhausted because I basically take care of every single thing just I could spare all the "pointing out flaws" episodes. In fact, I have a lot of stress and pressure from all that because I'm constantly doing it (ok more like, it became my every day life). I have no time to act all natural or just be "myself"
Is there even such a thing as being "yourself"??
所为的"自己"？真的有存在吗？
I do everything that my parents, siblings, friends , other people tell me to without saying anything at all. I'd do them even if it's barely what I can do. I try my best to take care of people's feelings, I don't like offending people, I don't use foul language. You name it. I've done them.
I am a quiet person and I have to admit that but it doesn't make me anyhow an arrogant person nor a bad person. I am just not your "ms perfect life, sociable girl".
I just don't understand the fact that I'm quiet can cause people to make nasty rumous of me or people to take advantage of me. I have girls talking about me stealing their boyfriends (pretty obviously not true. I will never! It's against my principles), I have people hating me calling me names, I have people calling me blur, stupid, people using me and they get all the credits. When things happens, I'm always the one who get blamed because I somesort look "bad" and "bitchy".
People like pointing out every single tiny mistakes I make.
It's tiring trying to not show any at all because I'm only human.
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